How to be a legend

The one and only Hazel Grace she is a legend yep. now I'm a legend yep. bye

#realtalk or #reallife

If you really knew me you'd know when the pen names were revealed I was a little nervous but not a whole lot. I don't like to keep secrets. of course I have my fair share of secrets however. It never occurred to me that a class could change my life but it did. I never thought you could be creative and be successful. Nelson taught me that it was possible. Here is a little bit about me, the real me.






You'd know I am terrified for the future and who will still be in it.

You'd know I'm not a very good writer.

You'd know I don't look at the examples Nelson puts up because I like what I write even if he doesn't.

You'd know I'm not very close with my family.

You'd know what happened in third grade changed my life.

You'd know that I hate cleaning my room.

You'd know I have very strong beliefs and I'm very passionate about them.

You'd know I have had my heart broken more times than my fingers and toes.

You'd know that I have always tried to impress nelson with my writing.

You'd know that I have switched friends too many times.

You'd know that I am insecure around my friends.

You'd know that I enjoy sleeping because it consists of not socializing.

You'd know twitter is not acutally my life (lol)

You'd know I really enjoy photography but feel like its too stereotypical around here.

You'd know I used to love to draw.

You'd know I am a video game nerd like no ones business.

You'd know I have never felt accepted at lone peak.

You'd know that I hate wearing skirts.

You'd know I used to be blonde and I will be again soon.

You'd know that I'm very sensitive to words you say about me.

You'd know that I buy summer clothes in the winter and winter clothes in summer.

You'd know that I am going to school to be a nurse.

You'd know that I would rather do something else other than nursing but scared to disappoint my parents with my dreams of doing something bigger in the world.

You'd know when I was a kid I had a dream. I had a dream that one day I would be an artist. I only thought an artist was someone with a pencil and paper. I have learned that it is so much more than that. You can apply creativity to anything that you do. Whatever dream you have you have to have passion. I believe that having passion is being creative and that is being an artist. Creating a masterpiece from your own mind. If you really knew what being an artist was you'd know,

Inspiring someone else is being an artist.

Loving someone is being an artist.

Caring for someone is being an artist.

Doing the impossible is being an artist.

Telling your mom thanks is being an artist.

Walking down the street is being an artist.

Falling down and getting back up is being an artist.






Your very being, your very soul is an artist. Your passion for love and life is so large and you have a life to live. You don't have to be an artist to be an ARTIST. just like albert einstien failing the 6th grade 3 times he was never the smartest but then he became an artist.


 Here's to the future hopefully the artist in you will never die.

nobody comments on my blog and I've never been on the top 5 does that mean I suck lololololololol

Stealing like an artist: photography edition

I live in Utah how much more stereotypical could I get?? I like taking pictures it's like stealing like an artist right??

I don't say what I mean I mean what I say

Relationships are a sticky situation. 

You will always care for the other person even if you break up or don't even "like/love" them anymore. It's complicated and sometimes you say things you don't mean about the other person. Sometimes you look for a way out of caring for someone but it's human nature we care regardless of the situation and regardless of the circumstances. You may not always like who they end up with especially if it was someone you were close to. You make mistakes and it leaves you alone with only god to forgive you. Please comfort my aching soul. I need a way out from this place where I care too much, for people who don't give a damn about me. I need to know I won't be alone much longer. Loneliness will eat you alive and consume you untill you become a monster who tries to destroy other people's happiness with your raging grief. All you can do is wait. Wait for someone to say hey maybe you're not so mad you're just okay. Okay enough to love okay enough to wife. Maybe there's someone I could be with for the rest of my life. So I stay here caring and waiting for the day. The day I say I do is when the pain and loneliness seem to go away.

Utah made me a photographer

Crossroads

Going through highschool trying to belong is our biggest problem. 

We graduate in less than a month. 

Then where do we belong? 

Nowhere. 

Our voice is taken from us and all we can do is pray someone still hears us. 

We may go to college

Get a job

Have a kid

Fall in love 

Whatever it is we'll still be lost just waiting to be found. 

If I learned anything from highschool it's that people listened to even the littlest sound. 

They watched you 

They learned from you

Did people see you how you saw you?

Did you leave knowing someone left a better person? 

People cared for you because you did you. 

Someone in that school was a better person because of you. 

It's not fitting in or belonging that mattered. 

It was knowing you left as you. And they did too.

How to fix a broken heart

You don't. Continue to get it broken. Why? Because if you get your heart broken it will open and when it opens you let hope in. Try to let that soak in. 

Open to possibilities 

Open to take chances 

Open enough to see what you truly want

When your heart is open for all to see, I know there's a chance. Maybe you and me.

 

Sooth your soul with yoga poses. And cats.

Dead in the water

I remember the way your lip curled when you smiled.
                    I remember you caught me when I fell.
       I remember being in your arms.
                                            the world stopped spinning.
                           I remember not wanting to leave.
                You said you'd be back soon.
  Life happened. Ticking tick tock tick tock tick tock. I would stare at the clock. Taking a test and all I could think about is what I could have done to make you stay.                                       
All you can do is wait for his return...
                all that waiting for something that wasn't there in the first place.
I remember you told me it would be okay.
I remember you told me you'd be back one day.
But you left me here to stay.
Emptiness. Loneliness. Too focused on Yesterday.
Everyday your thoughts consume you with what could have been.
You try to find a way out of your own mind.
A boy you thought you loved, turned out to be a love you couldn't win.
       Hanging over the edge of your own mind.
              Focusing not only on what you had but what you can find.
                   I can't replace your love.
                        Still waiting for that feeling.
          That tingling feeling I get in my throat that spreads throughout my entire body and I just can't seem to get that with anyone else. An explosion of happiness fills my chest when I was with him. My toes seemed to go numb walking towards him. My eyes were fixed on his. Staring at someone I thought was mine. I walked one step towards him and he walked two steps back. Gone never to return. Not for me at least. Heart pounding tear wrenching agony. What next.
                   Wait for that feeling.
                    again and again and again.
                   Will it come?
                    Maybe in disguise.
                   Disguised as a friend.
                   That feeling I got with him however,
                   will never end.
                 

Fake boyfriend

Taking cute pictures with people pretending that you actually have something when you don't. You realize that a picture is just a picture and real life isn't like that. You look at all these pictures of people in relationships but what is behind the pictures. Fighting, possibly sadness we all want the picture but not the story behind it. Make your own story start with a picture 

Human